It's that time of year; time for the "Year in Review Best/Worst Etc." stuff. This from the Village Voice's Michael Musto, who in my opinion is just a bitter and spiteful man but funny none the less. My fav: The Taliban Theme Song (to the tune of "Candy Man") "Who can take the women/put them out of view/Really treat you bad if you're a gay or you're a Jew?/The Taliban. The Taliban can." Speaking of the Taliban... Mary Jo and Bob came up with the best nickname I've heard yet "Jihad Johnny" and there's always "Johnny Walker Red"

Emotionally Scarring Toys. DisturbingAuctions.com - There's some twisted stuff here. People sell it, people buy it - I don't ask why anymore.

One of my all time favorite sites is RoadsideAmerica.com. and their collection of Muffler Men and bizarre highway attractions (a.k.a. The Mystery Spot et al) I just discovered The Highway Project. I hope they plan on adding more photograhs, but under resources you'll find an amazing collection of "Highway-Oriented Websites." Enjoy!

After discovering a very large and very empty bottle of Skyy Vodka this morning, I endeavored to determine exactly how much the 8 of us drank last night.

1.7 Liters (aforementioned empty bottle of Skyy Vodka) = 57.5 (I'm rounding up) ounces. Given that the average Vodka Tonic contains 2.5 ounces of Vodka, it works out to approximately 2.8 cocktails per person. Except that ever adorable David B. was there so that means the rest of us only had 1.57 drinks. They all went out to "Me" and "Toucans" while I tucked myself into bed with a cup of TheraFlu [tm] and a shot of Nyquil [tm]. I feel so much better now.

At least there wasn't any photographic evidence and I didn't do the 'ole "Drink and Dial."

Looking for that perfect chair to complete your living room? This is it. A friend of mine who received one for christmas is willing to part with hers. I'll put you in touch.

Only 7 more shopping days left! Here's another great stocking stuffer! Jesus scores a hat trick! Something wierd about this but I'm not sure what it is. I do know that it's not sick, disturbing, and JUST PLAIN WRONG (warning: adult content)

Keeping with the religous theme of the day, why didn't anyone think of it sooner? St. Petersburg Mayor Carolyn Risher might be on to something!

Now here's a site that will make you think twice before getting that tattoo. The entire lyrics to Freebird? What were you thinking?

In other news, I'm getting set to head back to Michigan to see the folks tomorrow! I hope it snows! Speaking of which, where the hell did I store that winter coat? Hmm... must be in the garage somewhere! Michelle will be staying here to hold down the fort. What could happen?

"If I Could Turn Back Time"

In light of recent events, the steep rise in gun sales demonstrates that Americans are fully exercising the 2nd Amendment. And what real American wouldn't want a 9mm with Old Glory on it? "United We Stand"

As Forrest Gump so poetically stated: Stupid is as Stupid does.

Okay, if you are ever in Little Rock (it could happen) and you meet a woman named Ann who smells like waffles - RUN - RUN for your LIFE!

This little game of Mini Golf is just too much fun. And yes, you can birdie the 17th!

I had to pull the comments section. Snorland was screwing up. If anyone knows of a good remote commenting place - let me know (blogback is not accepting new folks)

Fed up with your house mates dirty dishes? Here's the perfect stocking stuffer! "Cleaning the F*$#ing Kitchen for Dummies!" Very british in tone, but universal in message.

First it was Mullets Galore ... Now we have "Know the Toe!"

Got a half hour (or an hour for some of us) to kill? Think you're pretty damn smart? Oh yeah? Let me know how you did!

Steal It Back! Police Auctions. Now you can buy back your very own car stereo! Great deals on confiscated and repossesed items!

Ever wanted to have your own radio station? Install this handy card and you too can broadcast to your entire village or at least your block!

So the Forty Niners lost yesterday. What a pathetic performance. Still a lot of football to be played but c'mon! Now I owe Vicky $20 and she even gave me 3 1/2 points. We tossed the horseshoes during half time and Simone whipped my butt on my own court. One thing saved the day... I made a heaping pot of killer chili and my apologies to everyone (especially you Michelle) who suffered last night.

Email clip of the day: "We played Cimerron's (sp) short course a week ago --what a blast! It was great being out there again. I actually played pretty well for someone who hasn't been out since June -- lots of bogies. Terese played EXCELLENT. She's quite the golfer. When things calm down a little, we really DO have to have a cocktail and bocci or something fun with Terese and Michelle."

Now Playing: Dave Matthews Band

Looking for that perfect gift? One that says "Merry @!#%* Christmas?"

Evesdropping is fun:
"I'll have a glass of... How do you pronounce this?"
"The second one?"
"Yeah."
"'Chardonnay.'"
--A man and a waitress at Cafe Venizia

Ever wonder where you could find a recipe for "Bologna Biscuit Bake?" How about "Midas Meatloaf?" While your here, check out "How to play White Trash Iron Chef!"

Email clip of the day: "...his Holiday Vacation began a little early - he was kicked out of boarding school for using and selling drugs. Sadly, it appears he has not only started a nasty cocaine habit, but has begun dabbling in heroin as well .... [Blanks] father was in the hospital. Turns out he had a blood clot in his leg that left him short of breath and with legs swollen to twice their normal size. He's better now, but blood clots are not a good thing - he's just lucky it was his leg and not his brain. ... My sister's husband is now out of jail, and has his appeal hearing next Monday. Even though he has already served his sentence, we're hoping the conviction will be overturned so his record is clean and he can once again hold hopes to teach someday."

Now Playing: Talking Heads

My favorite Oddgirl points us toward some optical illusions sure to send you directly to the kitchen for another cup-o-joe. I feel dizzy.

Satan Ate My Lunch! "Piggyback" outsider artist Eddie Breen takes Thrift Store paintings and bends the works to his will. Great stuff. Other Art News: Milton Glaser reaffirms his love of NY by updating his iconic logo.

Email clip of the day: "btw, Jell-O turns out to be a he. or at least i think so. no balls = no male. i thought. but, even though balls are conspiciously absent, so are nipples. am i correct in assuming that Jell-O is male? or just a freak of nature?"

Now Playing: Nickel Creek

We can all use a helping hand sometimes. Here's a true friend to the end. In other news, I am working on getting the domain transferred to the new servers which should happen sometime in the next year. Maybe by then I'll have gotten my shit together and updated the old fish site to the new format. Went to Toucan's (great new tiki bar in town) last night with William and Robert, Mary Jo, Simone and my lovely wife Michelle. You remember Tiki - sure to be the next big thing after mid-century modern. Polynesia is making a comeback folks. While Toucan's is a brand spankin' new take on an old theme, Jason and Eddie have done a fantastic job and the place is going to take off. We need more happening spots here on the north end.

Email clip of the day: "I am looking forward to my sabbatical. I want to hang out in coffee shops like those jokers I see every day when I rush rush in for my happy latte -- and I wonder what they do for a living that they can just sit there. That's gonna be me."

Now Playing: Matchbox Twenty

Welcome to the new and improved Friday Fishwrap. After a year or two off, it's nice to be back. So kick your shoes off and enjoy the ride. And as always - if you find something here that you don't like - too bad - life is funny that way.